Need a strange hobby? Go here.

Have you always suspected the "Crocodile Hunter" was mad as a hatter? Well, here's proof... yikes!

Happy 2004.

And for your enjoyment, Blog Schmog is proud to present "The Lyrics Hardly Anybody Ever Knows":

For Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne
And there's a hand, my trusty friend
And gie's a hand to thine
We'll take a cup of kindness yet
For auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We'll take a cup of kindness yet
For auld lang syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne
For auld lang syne

Thank you and good night.

Old, old jokes

I just read this which I thought was rather funny: "Last time I heard that joke I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur!"

MTV seems to have given up on playing videos. Luckily, the only video they are still playing seems to be Muse: Hysteria which I rather like.

Why is it that rich people who've had beauty surgery always have such crappy surgery? I mean when I go to a surgeon and say: Here's a gazillion Euros, please make me look good I'd expect him not to inject my lips with enough silicone to tide over Silicone Valley for a month. Maybe they get paid by the pound or something. Also fake breasts usually look stupid.

I hate End-Of-The-Year-TV. Why does everybody feel the need to look back at last year? I was there, I know what happened! Booooring. At least the Bachelor is choosing his "true love" *choke* today (the blonde bulimic alien is my guess).

Yay! For all German speaking people: Telepolis-Rätsel 2003

Yesterday I saw "Superstar Worldwide" and it was really embarrassing. Not for me but for our German "Superstar" Axel Klaus (or some such). "Really terrible" says US judge Simon Cowell. "Like an aerobic instructor turned stripper" says the Australian judge. Who's English by the way. Like the US judge, the English judge and our own Shona Fraser. I wonder they let jury people from other nations even touch the jury table. Unfair advantage, anyone? Then again, Will Young was so boring my feet fell asleep while he was wrenching out "Light my Fire". Jim Morrison was turning in his grave. Not very fast, but still. "Yeah, light my fire, light my fire, light my fire *uninspired explosion to the left* light my firelightmyfirelightmyfire *uninspired explosion to the right". Booooring!

RTL had edited the broadcast to the point where viewers could probably sue them for mutilation. Hence we apparently missed how the jury members ganged up on the Polish judge because he was stupid. Well, we *saw* he was stupid when he offered to drink some vodka after the show with "his" contestant, 16-year-old blonde "I wanna be Kim Wilde when I grow up" Alex.

The Australian contestant looked and sounded like Lenny Kravitz on acid. The Canadian confused dancing with knee-bends and jerky arm movements to almost rival Alex' "Maniac" aerobic instructor choreography.

I actually liked the "Little Norwegian Hobbit" and the "Rock till you drop" Belgian. And that Kelly Clarkson sho nuff can sing. Well, we'll see what comes of it.

After that I saw the Bachelor. Oh dear. Oh dear. I'm not saying anything else. Just that I think maybe one should go out Saturday night to avoid the nonexistant TV programming. It's rubbed in: Hey, YOU'RE NOT OUT - Watch THIS and wish you were!!!!!

Back from the parents'. Now I have time to relax and cuddle the cats and it's great. I also have mountains and mountains of books to read. By the way, I really tried to read Infinite Jest but I can't. I'm on page 10.000 or so and it's so boring I was ready to gnaw my feet off so I stopped. I'm really counting on Middlesex now. But all in good time, I'm starting with the light reading.

Grammar/Punctuation appeal of the day (tm) sponsored by P.: People! Don't use round brackets where square ones are supposed to go and vice versa! Thank you.

Oh, and one more thing: Wouldn't it be good if some songs were illegal? Playing Walking on Sunshine should at least warrant *some* prison sentence. Imagine pleading with the police: "I didn't know they were playing music here, I just came to buy DRUGS!" Other candidates: "The Joker". "In Zaire" and the ever-popular "It's raining men". I might even consider the death sentence in this context. In addition, people who are dancing to any of those songs should get some jail time for aiding and abetting.

So today is Christmas and I feel like I want to relax and cuddle my cats. Maybe go for a walk later on. But I can't. Oh well, such is life. So I wish you all a merry Christmas/non-Christmas whatever you celebrate/don't celebrate. Have a happy day in any case.

WICHTELTIME