One last thing: If you like Lord of the Rings you definitely should read this. And don't stop until you've seen the film with Humphrey Bogart, heard the rap version and (for the most hardened of stomach) saw Leonard Nimoy intone a song about Bilbo, Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins.

I got "Notes from a Big Country" as a present for Christmas. And I thought...Bill Bryson always writes short columns...it's not that far away from what you do on a blog. But his columns are damn funny. My blog entries aren't. So I thought maybe I should pick topics to write about and not just ramble on about my life (because nobody would think that funny, I certainly wouldn't.) This blog started out with me writing thoughts and stuff, it was just in the last weeks it got this depressive boring diarylike quality. Back to the thoughts on life, the universe and everything, I say!

One thought goes as follows: Did you ever notice that certain conversation topics always elicit the same answers?
I'll give you some examples so you can go and try them and see what happens:

• "I am a vegetarian."
  
  Answer #1: Do you eat fish?
  (No. What is fish in your opinion...a plant???)
  
  Answer #2 (sometimes follows #1): Do you eat chicken then??
  (Ahem. See above. Are you stupid?)
  
  Answer #3 (most popular): Oh, I do not eat a lot of meat either!!
  (And that makes you what exactly? And why should I care?)

  
  

• "....Berlin...."
  
  Answer #1: Berlin is a great city. Munich, on the other hand is a village, you know.
  (Applies if you are living in Munich)
  
  Answer #2: In Berlin, you can rent great apartments for a low low low price.
  (Munich, on the other hand...Answer #1 probably ensues in just a second...brace yourself)

  
  

• "I heard Mallorca was quite nice."
  
  Answer: That's true!!! Mallorca can be quite beautiful! Especially if you go away from the touristy places. You might travel further inland. You can hike or bicycle...Mallorca's not just El Arenal....

  
  

• "I used to work at Disney World."
  Answer: As Mickey Mouse?
  Oh, you're the first person to ask this question...it's HILARIOUS...how did you come up with such a witty remark???

These are just a couple of examples, if you find more, go ahead and comment because I always am on the outlook for new party material :)
I recommend the Berlin and Mallorca statements as party conversation, especially if you're with likeminded friends talking to one unsuspecting victim, who without doubt will chime in at the drop of a hat about the beautiful Mallorca almond trees...

People are so predictable sometimes. And so probably are you and me. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid of meeting people like us at a party.

Enough with the holiday spirit!!! Want to see something that is a sad excuse for either a movie or a movie trailer? It is the trailer for "House of the Dead". Oh my god. They can't be serious. Quote: "5 teens at a rave. On a desert island. They wanted fun. They found zombies." What the fuck? You have been warned. I just saw that it stars Jürgen Prochnow. Maybe he was old and needed the money.

Back to the roots....

I deleted yesterday's post because I thought it was too depressive in retrospect. Hey, it's my blog and I can do whatever I want. I just get cranky around christmas time because I have this perfect plan for my perfect christmas and I never get to have it. And it would be easy...Here it is:

1. Get up late.
   
2. Go out for extended breakfast/brunch with boyfriend.
   
3. Take a walk in the snow (hey, it's supposed to be perfect).
   
4. Go and have a Glühwein at a christmas market.
   
5. Cook a lovely christmas dinner together.
   
6. Have lovely christmas dinner.
   
7. Give each other a small present (just for unwrapping something)
   
8. Snuggle up in front of the christmas tree.

See? Easy. Not: Christmas in Tahiti. Not: Present me with a Ferrari. But did it happen once? NO. It always ends with me standing in front of my parents' christmas tree singing and being cranky. (While I love my parents I'd prefer to visit them the next day for lunch, thank you very much.) Anyway. Maybe it'll happen one day...a girl can still dream, can she not...So to all of you:

Merry Christmas !!!