Happy Hallowe'en, everybody!

Dear students. Today we're going to learn about the important lessons that life (and Cosmopolitan) teach us. We're going to study the

10 Signs He's "THE ONE"

1. He looks at Pamela Andreson centrefolds and insists he doesn't know what the big deal is.
Great. I don't think I've ever met a guy who a) really liked Pamela Anderson (compared to, say Cameron Diaz) or b) would admit it. So I guess pretty much everybody qualifies. Yay for us.

2. He spends the weekend with your family and still wants to date you.
Are you saying there's a problem with my family? Are you talking to me? Do you feel lucky, punk?

3. Instead of a Sunday kick about, he offers to spend the day in bed, painting your toenails and giving you back rubs.
Hm. Sounds to me like "THE ONE" is gay. I mean who could derive any joy from painting toenails. Even if it's your girlfriend, come on. I'd sneer at a man who'd do that. That, and I don't particularly like back rubs. Spending the day in bed, why not, but why should he do it if he doesn't want to. Stupid rule, that #3.

4. He doesn't fall asleep immediately after sex.
Well, that's good. That way he can watch *me* sleep and pick his nose or something. I'm not going to stay awake, so Mr "PansyboystaysinbedonSundays" has something to cuddle. Nosirree.

5. He lets you use his toothbrush when you crash at his place.
Ewwwwww. Well, I'm going to use it anyway, but "lets you use his toothbrush"? What kind of a rule is that?

6. He leaves you cute, little loving messages every day at work and has done for the past two years.
a) Embarrassing
b) Annoying
c) Stalker?
d) All of the above

7. Even after seeing you covered in a mud mask and stuffing your face with ice cream he still looks at you the same way he did the moment he first saw you.
Are you kidding me? Do you know how *cute* I look wearing a mud mask? And he's probably stuffing his face with ice cream, too, so who's he to talk??

8. When you argue with him, he never chalks it up to your PMS.
That's actually a good thing.

9. He brings you daisies just because it's Tuesday.
This rule sets up totally unrealistic expectations because NO MAN will ever bring you flowers for no reasons EXCEPT when threatened at gunpoint. Maybe, but only maybe you might change the rule to ...just because it's your birthday... but don't count on it. Flowers and men just don't mix. Honestly. If you believe in that rule, "THE ONE" will be forever beyond your grasp. THEY JUST DON'T DO IT. Don't nag them. It's not in their genes. Cosmopolitan has aggravated many a relationship with rules like these.

10. He insists on waking up at 5am to take you to the airport.
Doubtful, and I'm not sure I'd expect it. Nice, of course

Honestly, who thinks of stupid things like these. And are there women who believe in them?? Who reads Cosmopolitan other than to point out ridiculous things and laugh?? There must be some people. Dear me.

Feeling woozy today. I hate colds. You're not really sick, but can't really do anything, my head feels like it's filled with huge soggy cotton balls. The cats like it, though, since I am curled up in bed acting as a huge human heating pad for their curling up needs.

News from the dating front: Not only has Mr X written me an e-mail on Sunday and called on Monday, NO!! He wrote me another e-mail yesterday asking if we could meet again on Friday. Sigh. I feel really stupid about this because I have no idea why I would rather cut my toenails on Friday than meet him again. It was a nice date on Saturday... but still when I think about meeting him on Friday I really, really don't want to. How does one wrap that up nicely? I have no idea. Maybe I should just meet him on Friday but then say - that's it. Maybe I should put a stop to it rightaway which probably would only be fair. That and it would save awkward time on Friday. I hate this. Dating sucks. I'm not doing it again. Not that I object to going out with men, I object to the process of dating. OBJECTION, your honor!

So now I am lying in bed, my head is empty and I don't know what to say on the phone tonight. Pffhtmph! And my TV is in the other room. Crap.

Immenent Danger of Sinusses making Head Explode Leads to Link Day!!

a) Quick, everybody to the left! (No actual children were harmed during this incident) Tee hee.

b) This looks like fun. I've always wanted my own magazine.

c) Optical illusions rule!

d) News flash: Urinal Test says I am probably a woman!

e) A time waster for people good at song lyrics (practice here for your time as music joker when I am on Who wants to be a millionaire?)

Oh, and one thing more: not only did my date write an e-mail, no! he also called yesterday. Which unfortunately made me realize I did not either look forward to him calling me again or us meeting any time soon. Why? I have no idea. I'm feeling rather depressed about this. I think I need a hug. (This may be the fever talking, though :)

Disclaimer: After I wrote this, I read it and found it to be severely lacking in content, grammar and spelling. But my head feels totally stuffy from my nose up and my eyes are practically swollen shut. So please disregard any mistakes you'll find in this entry

So. The laptop is still not doing what it's supposed to do, but at least I coaxed my desktop into accessing the internet. Apparently I had to sacrifice Google for that, but who needs Google anyway. Let me tell you what happened in the meantime.

Friday

Muse concert. Yeah. That was fun!! The only problem was that the concert was in a huge hall (the Zenith, if you must know) where the sound was a little bit off. But that wasn't too bad. I've been listening to Muse ever since, dreaming of the Stroboskop-Piano. And this is what's going through my head all day and won't leave:

There's a part in me you'll never know
the only thing I'll never show

hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
hopelessly I'll give you everything
but I won't give you up
I won't let you down
and I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

It's plain to see it's trying to speak
cherished dreams forever asleep
hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
hopelessly I'll give you everything
but I won't give you up
I won't let you down
and I won't leave you falling
if the moment ever comes

hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
hopelessly I'll give you everything
but I won't give you up
I won't let you down
and I won't leave you falling
but the moment never comes

Saturday

Date. The date went surprisingly well. He turned out to be really nice, smart, not ugly and we had coffee and dinner and talked till 2 a.m. No sparks, though. Hmmm. I have the notion that he liked me, though, which is supported by the fact he wrote me an e-mail saying he really enjoyed the date and we really needed to get together again. Hmmmm.

Sunday

Bad mood day. Woke up and was severely distressed by the laptop issue. I hate it when things go wrong out of no apparent reason and there's nothing I can do to fix them. Plus, traipsing around the internet using the Mac really really got on my nerves. It's the little niggling things that got on my nerves like constantly using the wrong key or losing something I wrote or not being able to tap the touchpad to click. That and my roommate's Mac has this itty bitty screen where I had trouble reading anything. Grrrrr. Nevermind. I'm all calm now. Anyway, I was in a really bad mood all day, which wasn't alleviated by the fact that everybody around me seemed to be, too. Went and saw "Kill Bill" in the evening.

Kill Bill

Hmhmhm. I don't quite know what to say about this film. It's very "Tarantino". So if you don't like that, the film will be a lost case for you. I am rather ambivalent. I do like Tarantino, so that's not a problem (although I am refusing to watch Pulp Fiction ever again). But the film was strangely uninvolving. It started out very intriguing but then jumped all over the place while you knew all the time what would happen in the next sequence (either because you saw it in the trailer or because you were basically told in the scene before). That was very different from Pulp Fiction where you had the single scenes that connected but you could connect all the dots only at the very end which made it amusing to watch the first time and then all over again. Here, you don't really care. There's no real plot either. Lots of characters, but no real plot. Which is OK up to a point, because the characters all have their little backstories which are little plots all alone.

The film is well crafted, though. I mean, you can tell there went a lot of effort into making this picture. I don't really watch old Japanese movies but you could tell that Tarantino has and is lovingly trying (and probably succeeding) to recreate the atmosphere of those films. (I'd like to take a moment here and point out again the atrocious LXG where the comic it was based on was butchered by everybody involved) Kill Bill is like an animé film come to life (at one point it even stays animé which is really spectacular, but I've always liked animé, so there). That means it's over the top sometimes and that (in my opinion) doesn't always work. Like when you have a beautiful poetic fight scene which ends with one participant having the top of the skull sheared off, you can see the brain and the whole audience laughs. Works in animé maybe where a head with the brain looking out might not seem as ridiculous.

But I still liked the film somehow. I'll give it a sideways thumb. I think it's probably best, however, to wait until part two comes out and watch the whole thing in one sitting.

A word of advice on the soundtrack: it sort of conveys the "PulpFictionVibe" to me which means you buy it, you enjoy it, you listen to it and three months later you're ready to hire a steamroller to crush every CD of the soundtrack ever made.

Monday

(which is today) Now I have a cold, which probably contributed to my bad mood yesterday. Hence I will go take a bath now. I probably forgot to say stuff I wanted to say, but hey! I'll just return and say more.

My computer won't access the internet anymore and I hate the Mac so much it hurts.