I agreed to be in a game of Diplomacy. I think I might be way in over my head, I suck at strategy. If any of you wants to lend me a hand, be my guest.Don't know if that's frowned upon, but hey, every great strategist had advisors.

I downloaded a German rulebook, too, if anybody wants to read that, let me know. I've been reading the country recommendations and I'd like to go for Germany (regardless of my own Germanic nature, it just intrigued me) or Italy. I'd actually like Italy a bit better, I think. Don't know what I'll be assigned, though, then I can start planning.

Are you scared by clowns? Don't click here, here and here. You have been warned. And best to steer cleer of Buffo, too...

Here's why you hate clowns. In all probability.

Today was R-Day. I went and testdrove the Roadster. Maybe everybody was right who said I shouldn't because it was SO MUCH FUN. Now I really want one. Damn. The evil Smart people equipped the Testster with a sports steering wheel which is great because you get to switch gears without taking your hands off the wheel. Needless to say, it's extra. Everything's extra. You can be glad they're giving you the wheels for free. Ulisch was trying to be the voice of reason and kept saying: "But the trunk's too small..." And she's right. If you can call it a trunk. No more shopping. Well, if I buy the roadster I can't afford to go shopping anymore, that's true. Lease, that is. Can't afford to buy it. If I lease it, that's 100 Euros a month..hmmm...don't really have that either.

Bahn Bad

I don't feel very good today. If you look a the time you might notice one of the reasons. Woke up at this ungodly hour sneezing as my cold flared up again. I blame public transportation. Went to my Mom's birthday elebration yesterday. Maybe you remember: my car was being serviced, so I had to go by train. It went something like this:

18:42. Subway leaves at my home station.

18:46. Subway arrives at Hauptbahnhof.

18:47. Beating my way through throngs of people waiting for the S-Bahn.

18:48. Thinking: "Uh-oh." People are aimlessly milling about, trying to listen to the loudspeaker ("garblegarble S5 garble Starnberger Flügelbahnhof garble"). Tourists are trying to find the mysterious "Starnberger Flügelbahnhof". The expensive-as-heck display panel at the platform says: "If you want to take the S-Bahn, sorry, you're screwed. Please listen to the speaker announcements." Which I do. And if I wasn't so cheap I'd be on my way back by now. (I paid a bucketload of money for the ticket, heck, I am going to my parents' now.)

19:00."Garblegarble s4 Pasing garble". I hop (figuratively speaking, as everybody crams into it) into the next train, listen to the conversation of a screaming couple, smell diverse antiperspirants and not-so-antiperspirants and exit at Pasing.

19:10.The Pasing platform is also brimming with people. And I know they all want to go where I want to go, because when it's announced that my S-Bahn has been cancelled, everybody whips out a mobile and calls somebody or other.

19:11. Installing myself on the platform floor, trying to read Espedair Street. Thinking of renaming Pasing to "Windy City". Regretting I did not put on a decent jacket and supposing this will come back to haunt me later in the light of my just receding cold.

19:42. S-Bahn finally arrives. Everybody else seems to have brought a bike and/or a stroller including/not including a child (why would you take one if you don't have a child with you, but I digress). Trying to concentrate on my book, but the lady next to me strikes up a conversation with everybody else. Since she is too short to hold the handrails, she also clutches the guy next to me everytime the train swerves and shrieks.

20:05. Arrive at my final destination and take a solemn oath never to use public transportation again.

Other than that, I am feeling downcast and tired. Need to go to work today while everybody else (at least in my neck of the woods) is off due to a holiday. I won't make the deadline for my paper, I'm not sure if I'll finish my paper at all (certainly doesn't look like it now). My taxes are due but doomed (I have no idea how to do them). My money has officially run out (the vet took the last of it, sort of, I still have €2 in my pocket). Hopefully, work will soon pay me or the bank will give me the money for my savings thing, which, sadly, will then disappear into thin air as it just covers my debts. The apartment looks like it would be a good idea to tear it down with a bulldozer and salt the place.

*cough, cough, sneeze, sneeze* Are you pitying me yet or do I need to lay it on thicker? blows nose sounding like an elephant

I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Crazy Austrian Alert

What's wrong with Wiener Schnitzel?? Ewww!!! Ewww!!! (Don't click while eating and especially don't blame me afterwards. Nothing untoeward in this link. Will make you queasy from head to toe, though. And the word toe-jam will take on a whole new meaning. Toe be or not toe be. [whacks head on table :: must...stop...puns...now :: whacks head again])

It's not my fault!!! Knack' den Google!!! or if you prefer English doom: Googlewhack!!!

This link has been brought to you by: Marco. God bless him, out-of-work-nothing-to-do-but-entering-search-strings-in-google lad that he is... leading us all to certain ruin .. but who cares? Not like I have anything else to do. Why won't it take poodle - wet shave???

Mood ring says: Good mood

What time is it? Check out the Funky Noodle Clock as I call it.

Strangely enough, I'm feeling better now. Maybe not smoking has helped in keeping the cold in its place. Or away from it, depending on how you look at it. Only my throat still hurts somewhat. I finally need to get some work done or I'll never ever finish University. Today I have been musing about alternate career moves. But alas, I have no discernable talent (apart from golf - not to be confused with Minigolf, at which I am a talentless hack - not to be confused with Paul who is the Official Minigolf Master^TM). Is writing convoluted run-on sentences a talent or a curse, by the way? Just asking. For a moment I was worrying "discernable" was supposed to be "discernible", but I checked and actually both variations exist. Am I good or what? :: does the dance of vocabulary joy ::

What else? I brought my car to be checked-upped today (go vocabulary!), actually it's going to the TÜV tomorrow. I hope it passes...if not, I have a date with the Smart Center of my choice on Friday :) Wroom, wroom - test driving the Roadster.

If I have you thorougly bored and you need some amusement to divert yourself, you can always look for the Lord. If you find him, pray tell, because there was nun to be found when I looked. God, sometimes I crack myself up.

Still feeling miserable, but at work. Wondering why one is never sick at a convenient time. Yes, being sick really never is convenient, but last week I was mainly sitting at home. Could have sat at home sick, for all I cared. This week I have lots to do. It's Murphy, I guess. Ah well, back to "sprot".

Today I went to work and did exactly the same thing I am supposed to to for my final paper but am procrastinating: entering data from questionnaires. Drove me nuts at work, too. Somehow I think I might be a dyslexic typist. I don't think I ever managed to type "sport". "Sprot". It was always "sprot". Also, I never fail to convert each and every "Sch" I encounter to "Shc". At least I entered everything and hence can do more challenging work tomorrow.

Wanted to work on my paper now, but unfortunately feel rather sick. My roommate has been moping around for a couple of days now and I think I might have caught whatever it is he's dragging around. Strange how fast everything went down the drain, though. One minute I was feeling fine, the next I thought: "Hm, my throat is a bit sore", and now my throat is somewhat swollen, my eyes tear and my nose feels like antibiotics might be in order sometime next week. But I still hope for the best and am going to bed now with my little Winnie-the-Pooh hot water bottle. Nothing helps like a Winnie-the-Pooh hot water bottle. Try it sometime.

G33ky comic strip. Don't click if you don't know what a D20 is.

The other day I thought about queues. We all know the phenomenon that one of these things happens to the queue one joins:

The paper in the cash register runs out

The change runs out and there have to be negotiations between cashier/next cashier/manager

The old woman at the front of the line
a) has forgotten to weigh her watermelon
b) offers the cashier her wallet to take out the change

Every person in front of you is highly surprised they have to pay and take ages to finally take out their wallet

One item is scanned in incorrectly: "I need a manager at register #3 please"

The reason the queue you joined was the short one was that everybody else knew the cashier was crazy: "Look at the little barcode!"

The queue is long but the cashier still crazy: "Oooh..what kind of fruit might this be??" - "A banana"

It's the cashier's first day on the job:"What's the code for 'apple'?"
That's common. Everyday practice. But another phenomenon I've encountered lately is whenever I need to join a queue, suddenly dozens of people get in line in front of me. For example, every time I go swimming, I get there, I look at the register, I see nobody in line. I turn around and lock my bike and - presto! 40 people have come out of cracks in the floor like busy little ants, scurrying towards the register. Not that ants would be scurrying towards the register. Well, maybe they would, but they wouldn't have to pay. You get my point, stop harassing me. Not that this has a point exactly, I just wanted to share. If you have any observations regarding queues, feel free to share them as well.

Act of Random Kindness of the Day

My roommate was looking all over for his subway pass today. Just now the door bell rings. Turns out he had lost it in the subway station this morning and somebody had found it. And he actually brought it to our door!!!

Evil, Schmevil

Are you evil? Do you have plans of world domination? Might they be foiled by the lack of weapons grade plutonium? Worry no more! Here the distinguished supervillain has all needs taken care of.

I wish they wouldn't and I wish I could. Pee & sleep, respectively. It's raining at the moment. And I so wanted to go to the lake tomorrow. meep!