I wish I wouldn't suck so much at strategy games - my online football team keeps losing and that depresses me. Usually, their line-up is much better than the one of the opposing team but they will lose nevertheless. Another thing I'm not good at, sigh.

Some days I really feel I am not good at anything and this - as stupid as it is - isn't helping any.

I also feel I am turning into some kind of person I do not want to be. I just think that nothing's really worth an effort anymore, like I used to. So I don't even bother. I remember when I used to be different. Happy (kindasorta but still), rather content and kindly inclined towards people. Gone with the wind.

Muahahaha! Quick, have Lorenzo Lamas call you!

Quote:
The vast majority of our celebrities are not motivated by financial reasons when it comes to this project. Their extraordinary achievements have made them tremendously popular all across the globe and they believe that our patented new service is a great way for them to stay in touch with their growing fan base. It's also a lot of fun.

*snicker*

Things that you wanted but never got

What is it that you wanted in life that never quite happened? I remembered today a vision I once had. First I wanted to get married and have kids (Jule laughed about me when she found that I had checked that in a test in an old magazine :) Then I thought I'd like to be a writer. But alas, I have no talent for writing whatsoever. (Blogging doesn't count, and even if it did, I still don't. I'm rather unoriginal, that's the crux. However, I have an idea for a novel stashed away somewhere. And a title. Unfortunately, the two don't match).

Then I remember how I once combined those two visions (well, sort of) and wanted to be married to a writer. We were supposed to live in a cottage somewhere. He'd write and I'd take care of the dogs. And the cats. No kids, though, if I remember correctly. Neil Gaiman, preferably. Doesn't seem likely now, does it? Plus, he lives in ... Philadelphia (?) now and I'm thinking quaint English cottage here.

What else?

Saw the obligatory documentary about IKEA today and they said IKEA was discontinuing Ivar. GASP!!!! IVAR!!!! Sincerely hope it was just a canard, I checked the IKEA website immediately and they still have Ivar. Phew.

Read a book (Terry Pratchett's The Fifth Elephant if you must know) today (no, not Infinite Jest, I am sorry) and he described how somebody hears a conversation but doesn't listen to it and still is able to answer questions. And that reminded me of a habit I picked up when I was working as a tour guide - talking without listening to myself. Has the advantage that you can plan your evening or plot anarchic overthrowal of the government while you work, but also has the disadvantage that you never know what you just said and sometimes I'd "wake up" and 50 tourists would stare at me - me with NO CLUE whatsoever what it was I just said to them.

Stray from the meaningless drivel that is my blog to the thoughts of Virginia Woolf on Shakespeare's sister, if you're thusly inclined. No reason to post this other than I liked the essay.

Oh, and I forgot: I wanted to make our cooking club (still Y.U.M. for want of a better title) official. I don't want to omit anybody who wants to, so I thought I'd announce it here. Drop me an official e-mail and I'll include you in THE LIST. Then we'll make concrete plans as to where do we meet, when do we meet, what do we cook etc. If you want to, you can always include suggestions in your mail.

Hooray, I have a job... Today my boss offered me a 2-year-contract. Which suits me fine, because I'm still considering going to Australia or New Zealand at some point and then I can still reconsider after two years. Plus, work experience is always good. Minus, lots and lots of work and no free time anymore.

I just watched the news, and apparently I have as much sex as Angelina Jolie. Yay. Or should that be Nay? She's lying through her teeth, anyway...it was a rather embarrassing press conference for the film "Tomp Rayder".

"Ms Jolie, what do you think of Til Schweiger?"

"Oh, he's such a nice guy to work with ... because I don't know who he is and I couldn't care less and he was only in one teeny tiny scene so European sponsors will be happy and does anyone remember him in Driven? Didn't think so."

Well, that's not quite how it went, but it could have.

the things you hear

What you would like to hear from your doctor: "What lump in your breast? I can't feel anything."
What you do hear from your doctor: "Oh, that lump. I'm transferring you to have a mammography."

What you enjoy hearing from your radiologist: "Everything seems OK on the picture here."
What you don't enjoy hearing from your radiologist: "Oh, a lump? Might be this thing here. Better do an ultrasound. I'm referring you back to your doctor."

So there is / isn't a lump in my breast which might / might not be anything. Good to have doctors around who can tell you those things. Meh.

Whatshisname talked to me yesterday. Seems like he still isn't quite familiar with the whole "till death do us part" thing. Of course, he wasn't familiar with it two months after his wedding, so why should he be now? Propositioned me without further ado. Quite an offer. What?? After all, he is famous (in the Riddle Scene, yo homies!!! :)

Apart from that, nothing exciting.

Why didn't I come up with this? And why am I constantly posting strange links? God only knows.

I think I really want to see Shaolin Soccer.

Gregory Hines is dead, too. I really liked him in Waiting to Exhale. Cancer, or so I've heard. He wasn't really that old.

Celebrate randomness. Pick a website.