Just read Coraline thinking it was a childrens' book...Now I am totally scared and don't know whether I can go to sleep.

Boy, was I scared today when my computer crashed and would not let itself be reset...Half an hour later it started beeping incessantly and would not shut up...Another 15 minutes later luckily I located the missing boot disk and was able to get it going again. Phew.

Stupid me!! Save Early, Save Often!! Make Backup Copies of Everything!! (which I did right away).

But today was not a good day for me and technical devices. Our hall light is not working anymore and it's completely dark outside. The DVD player in the kitchen crashed in the middle of my brand new Gosford Park DVD (I had ordered two, one has arrived so far). Then my monitor winked out again and took a lot of coaxing to work again. Maybe today is the day to stay at home and especially stay the hell away from my car because that'll be expensive to fix...

My mood has been deteriorating again, hooray...

I'm not so sure that co-emoting helps with my worrying problem at all. Now I'm even worrying about people I don't even know, like the girl in Canberra who had to pack all her things because she was afraid her house would burn down. Or the guy in NYC whose cat died (I cried even a little about that, oh dear) *checking out the blog now actually yields disappointing results as he added a jigilliard of uninteresting things, sigh*.

Lately, I've been crying at the drop of a hat...Things I cried about included:

• The Cider House Rules (Little Fuzzy...in his breathing apparatus...sob)
  
• A little kid in a talk show meeting his very best friend and crying about it (a talk show - the shame of it nearly kills me :)
  
• "Der Weg" by Herbert Grönemeyer (can't listen to it while driving as I tend not to see the road anymore)
  
• Episode 4 of Scrubs (why did they have to use the song "Hallelujah"...I cry because of that alone)
  
• My grandma asking me why I wasn't still together with that nice guy ("Because we broke up, like, two years ago and I would not take him back if he was the last man standing?") and then proceeding to lecture me that there were many nice boys out there up for grabs if I were just to try...

I guess I am turning into a blubbering moron. Maybe it's hormones. "Keep it together, keep it together, keep it together." (Kit Ramsey in Bowfinger)

There goes my resolution not to post depressing stuff, but what's a girl to do? Tomorrow hopefully my outlook on life will be better. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.

Woke up tonight at 2 a.m. and suddenly had to think about "lemming noodles" which made me laugh.

Topic: Dreams and stuff

I was in the shower thinking about my dream where I had to bake bread and fight aliens (yes, I know, some people have heard enough of that dream but that's how my train of thought went). What was I thinking, you fervently ask, I am sure...well, first I thought that other people's dreams never are interesting and maybe I shouldn't have told everyone I know and their brother about it. But that's not where this goes (don't worry, I have a point somewhere, I guess).

Because then I remembered something else: do you know the dreams one sometimes has where you dream about someone you know (but not that well, just some acquaintance) and you dream that you are getting along great for some reason? Not romantically, I mean, but just talking and such. And then you actually meet that person again and are somewhat confused when you don't get along that well at all...I wonder why I thought about that, haven't had one of those dreams in quite some time. Hm, maybe there wasn't a point to this after all.

Speaking of absent friends...just now somebody called me who I haven't talked to in a long time (Hey, Alex!!) and I just wanted to remark that it's nice to have friends that you haven't spoken to in two years but still get along great...

Good mood continues, I don't know what's up with me :))

I guess you'll have to wait until my visit to the dentist tomorrow morning for me to be my usual grumpy self.

In the meantime, I'll sing you a song...no...wait...where are you going?

Today I am feeling quite fine, actually, which makes me think that it's just lack of sleep talking whenever I write depressive stuff. I actually remember that I promised not to write depressive things, anyway... I should try to keep that promise. Got some things done, too. Went to the library, broke a Commandment, that sort of thing :)

Yes, the Universe just is not fair, I know...

Yesterday, we were talking about God. I used to be a dedicated atheist (as my family is totally into religion and force-fed me with that crap all my life) but I am starting to think there must be something out there because I can't attribute all the stupid things happening to chance. Somebody must be laughing about me. Maybe Uli's three guys take some time off from harassing her and get on my case once in a while.

They won't have to do much more, I think. Lack of sleep and inner turmoil/confusion/worrying/whatever have eroded my nerves to the point where my stomach is giving me trouble all the time, my cigarette consumption is skyrocketing and every night I am feeling like I should just drink. Yesterday I almost died choking on a glass of Ramazotti. The others ensured me it looked pretty funny, though. Glad to be of service. I am here til Tuesday. Try the veal.

Sometimes I wish I was totally emotionless.

It's hard to be a good person when other people are so damn inconsiderate...

Today my car was parked in by three people. And there was another car parked on the sidewalk that I thought I could not pass. Ulisch and me figured we'd call the police (I agonized about that because I don't want to incur the wrath of Parking God and I think he frowns on the practice of squealing on Illegal Parkers). So we waited for our Friends and Helpers in the cold only to be laughed at. ("Yours is the red car? We don't drive 'girl cars' like that in the Police Force." Mhm.)

At least they gave me permission to try and pass the guy on the sidewalk which actually worked out. Felt kind of stupid. But at least they gave the idiot woman (I know it was a woman as she left her card on the dashboard but then did not answer her phone, the bitch) who parked behind me a ticket. And you know how much it was? 15 Euro only. I've had to pay more for THINKING about illegal parking. Uli tried to bargain with them ("Don't you think she also was OBSTRUCTING PEDESTRIANS??") but they did not go for that...