Looking like a human being again, woo hoo! Thanks to Alejandra from Venezuela at the Cutting Crew... By all means, do go there if you want your hair done right!!! I should have gone there rightaway, mea culpa.

In the meantime I am sufficiently recovered to tell you that I discovered the following rules apply when choosing a hairdresser:

1. If you make the appointment and they tell you: "Better take off the whole afternoon because your hair might turn orange", it probably will.
   
2. The vacant stare on the apprentice's face will mean she's slower than a footsore snail.
   
3. If you witness droves of men coming in the door to be shorn like sheep, run like the wind.
   
4. Not a good sign: The hairdresser mixing your colour while a cigarette is dangling from his mouth.
   
5. Not a good sign either: The hairdresser unwrapping your head and saying: "Let's see if it turned green."
   
6. The last thing you want to hear at the end of an excruciating afternoon when your head is burning like fire and you fear all your hair will fall out in a moment is the hairdresser stating encouragingly: "Fortunately your hair is thick and we can dye it a couple of more times."

Now I'm taking the evening off to go to the nearest beer garden (though I really should clean the apartment for my birthday celebration tomorrow).