Friday, February 06, 2004

I don't really know why I am so dissatisfied with everything at the moment. I look out the window and the sun is shining and I feel like something ist missing and the days are just zipping by. Zippp...zippp....

Maybe it's because I don't really have a goal in life. I tried to substitute the marathon thing for it last year, but that didn't help really. I thought, once you'd done a marathon, somehow one's outlook on life would change magically. Well, it didn't. I was just really, really tired. Didn't feel like I'd really achieved anything. Perhaps my expectations were too high. Reminds me of the time I went parachute jumping and found it utterly boring. Maybe my adrenaline glands are just not working properly.

I'm actually considering climbing the Everest - I did the marathon because I really, really hate running. And the one thing I hate *more* than running is hiking. So climbing the Everest would be a huge task for me. (Can't just be the Zugspitze or something, no, must be the Everest). So far I'm just deterred by the huge amounts of preparation. That'll take years instead of the months the marathon did. Plus, it's really expensive. Not the climb itself - well, that, too, but also the preparation - I'd need to start slow with hiking, then progress to climbing, then try out a few mountains before I could take on the Everest. I'm bored but not stupid. OK, sometimes I feel stupid, too, but if I'd just travel to Himalaya, I'd be stupid and dead. Then again, I might die even *with* preparation. Have I mentioned I really, really hate hiking?

Hmmm...maybe I should just cross a busy street without looking left OR right.

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