I was walking home from Uli's today (who was really sick today, poor girl...) and I thought about how it's much harder to specify things that you like in contrast to things you hate. Maybe that's because there's more things I like so it's hard for me to decide which ones to name. Take music, for example. If asked what I like I can't really say as I don't have a favourite genre, I just like songs or I don't. Or men. Really hard to put together the list of the "ideal man". I'd rather be able say what is an absolute turn-off. So while walking, I put together a list of things I hate. First it was to be a top ten list, but then I decided to go with categories and just choose the "winner".

OK, here goes:

Might as well start with music: Music that pretends to be something but isn't. First and foremost the "techno-drivel-bullshit" that is clogging up the German charts left and right. Who in their right mind wants to listen to "Boys of Summer" with a techno beat? If you requested something like that at a techno club they would beat you up and kick you out. Also fake classic music...Helmut Lotti immediately comes to mind here. If you do not know who he is, consider yourself lucky. (He's actually one of my pet peeves...if I ever run amok, he is on the top of the list of people I am taking with me. And you know why? Because I saw this video and hopefully not many videos like it have been produced since 1945. The pictures might give you an idea, but it was much, much worse. Love of Africa? *coughbullshitcough*) But I digress.

Men, then: It's a close call: Mustaches or itty bitty round glasses. You say...superficial bitch..it's the inside that counts!! But noooo...because both of these features most of the time betray the inner workings of said man. And those do not fit my line of thinking, I am sorry, all you mustache-wearers out there...but at least you can redeem yourselves and shave it. Itty-bitty-round-glasses-carriers on the other hand most of the time are those toenailcurling "intellectual" types. You know what I am talking about. They have a "carefully disheveled poetic" haircut, usually wear nothing but black or brown, consider berets a valid option and also tend to wear scarves. All that in itself not so bad but they also go into the basement if they have to laugh, consider everything to be beneath them, pretend to like modern interpretations of classic theatre ("You just don't get why Romeo is wearing ski boots and a mafia outfit, because you are not as INTELLECTUAL as I am") and probably carry a copy of "Death in Venice" everywhere they go. Nuff said.

Cities (yes, I really thought of everything :): Hannover. The ugliest, most boring city I ever visited. It's so boring I can't even rant about it.

Cars: The Fiat Multipla. A carbuncle on humanity's ass. I shudder everytime I see one. Though I have to admit they are spacious. And some of them run on natural gas, which is a good thing. But damn, are they uuuuuuugly.

Movies: This was actually hard as I like movies in general and am hard pressed to say I hated one, I'd rather say it was boring or analyse what I did not like. But finally I came up with The Fifth Element. The reason probably is because I was looking forward so much to seeing it as I usually love Luc Besson movies and really was disappointed. Way overrated by many people. Lame jokes, crappy effects and make-up, a Milla Jovovich that really grates on your nerves...at least Bruce got to save the world. On a cruise ship. Actually, there is a crappy German movie that Fifth Element reminded me of: Die Sturzflieger. Watch and weep.

Books: Again, hard category, same as movies. Two things came to mind. First, I hate Thomas Mann. At least the things we read in school, I admit that I never read "Magic Mountain" or "Buddenbrooks". If you are a closet homosexual, don't take it out on your children and your readers and for God's sake, use a frigging full stop once in a while. Second, totally different (I already mentioned it once on this blog, but just in case you forgot): I hate that Science Fiction writers always have to come up with weird names like Flmp Gaxzoomp YYurf. While I do not advocate naming your average Alien George I think one could go easy on the consonants, y's and x's.

I feel the list should not stop there but I should not go on too long...if you feel a category has been neglected, by all means, email me.

For good measure to cheer you up after all that negativity, a general
list of things I like (not categorised and in no particular order):

Snow. Especially when a lot of it just fell and it makes that crunchy, fresh sound under your feet.

New York City. Best damn city in the whole world. If you can't make it there etc.

Having breakfast at a café with friends.

When you get up and your roommates have already made coffee.

Coffee in general. Nothing beats a good latte macchiato.

Reading a book up until 5 o'clock at night because you don't want to stop.

Good Omens. Lord of the Rings. Harry Potter. (see above. Yes, Harry Potter. I can put on my list whatever I damn well like.) Shakespeare. Steinbeck. Astrid Lindgren. (see?)

The sad feeling that you get when you watched a really good movie and you realise you'll never see it for the first time again.

Taking a bubble bath.

Rollercoasters. Best pointless invention ever made.

Dishwashers. Best invention ever made.

My car. Never leave home without it.

Bad Steven Seagal/Jean Claude VanDamme/Michael Dudikoff/Hulk Hogan movies if you watch them with friends at 2 o'clock at night

Friends and/or your boyfriend picking you up at the airport/train station after a trip. With presents. Well, even without.

Chocolate pudding. Really anything with chocolate.

Here also, I think there might be room for improvement. So if you want my opinion on other subjects, be my guest and tell me.