I don't really know why I am so dissatisfied with everything at the moment. I look out the window and the sun is shining and I feel like something ist missing and the days are just zipping by. Zippp...zippp....

Maybe it's because I don't really have a goal in life. I tried to substitute the marathon thing for it last year, but that didn't help really. I thought, once you'd done a marathon, somehow one's outlook on life would change magically. Well, it didn't. I was just really, really tired. Didn't feel like I'd really achieved anything. Perhaps my expectations were too high. Reminds me of the time I went parachute jumping and found it utterly boring. Maybe my adrenaline glands are just not working properly.

I'm actually considering climbing the Everest - I did the marathon because I really, really hate running. And the one thing I hate *more* than running is hiking. So climbing the Everest would be a huge task for me. (Can't just be the Zugspitze or something, no, must be the Everest). So far I'm just deterred by the huge amounts of preparation. That'll take years instead of the months the marathon did. Plus, it's really expensive. Not the climb itself - well, that, too, but also the preparation - I'd need to start slow with hiking, then progress to climbing, then try out a few mountains before I could take on the Everest. I'm bored but not stupid. OK, sometimes I feel stupid, too, but if I'd just travel to Himalaya, I'd be stupid and dead. Then again, I might die even *with* preparation. Have I mentioned I really, really hate hiking?

Hmmm...maybe I should just cross a busy street without looking left OR right.

I'd just like to take a moment to state that:

"Der Pokal hat seine eigenen Gesetze."

Thank you.

*gladly throws 5 € into the "Piggybank for stupid catchphrases"

Well, I found something to cheer myself up - there's people even stupider than I am. I found the cheer-up-link here on a Nederlandse blog of somebody who apparently enjoys the Dutch version of Pop Idol. What happened there is that they took the worst applicants, told them they were great and let them sing at the halftime show of a football game. A clip of which you can watch here.

First they show the candidates milling about talking Dutch...they should have gotten a clue just by watching the other stupid people. You can skip that, but be sure to tune back in when you see that little guy in the white shirt moonwalking and doing pirouettes. Amazingly funny - if a little taxing on the ears. And no, I don't care if it's inhuman to parade losers like these around. They signed up for it, they get what's coming to them. And I get to laugh. Ha, ha.

Today's not a good day. I feel fat, ugly and stupid (not necessarily in that order) and don't really know what the point is. What's the point?

Well, I've seen people turn green (my roommate after having a litre of banana milk shake), but I didn't know it was possible to turn blue. Scary that somebody would think drinking silver substitutes for antibiotics.

Why is it that when you are typing the word "banana", it's so hard to stop? Banananana.

Premiere sucks! I was looking forward to the Superbowl yesterday when we discovered we don't have the digital receiver needed to see it. Was insulted by a stupid call center employee and am somewhat pissed I didn't ask for his name to complain.

The game was pretty good, too, or so I hear (last two quarters at least). And there was Janet Jackson's boob and a streaker on the field during the halftime show. Oh boy!

Other news:

- Have a diploma now. Contains an error though and states I took "art pedagogics" (aka pottery therapy??) when I actually took forensic psychiatry and can now identify stalkers, pedophiles and anyone with a rubber fetish correctly.

- Went snowboarding on Saturday.

- Saw my first game of ice hockey on Sunday - unfortunately I was among all the rabid fans and couldn't ask questions like: why are all these people constantly jumping over the side of the rink? is it actually ALLOWED what HE's doing?? or the ever popular: which one's are ours??? (I waited until somebody scored and checked if everybody cheered, when they did, deduced this was our team)

Aye, the compass doesn’t point north but we’re not trying to find north, are we?

Yesterday I wasn't really feeling up to scratch. Nothing really happened, it was just one of those days where nothing goes quite right. First of all I had nothing really to do which I hate. I can't really understand how people could like jobs where they lounge about all day. I started feeling completely useless.

Then I had to call around negotiating things. And I'm really bad on the telephone. I kept forgetting to ask things and being pushed around and nothing worked out like it should have. The useless feeling mounted and mounted and when I went home I started thinking about all the things I should have done but haven't so far.

Now that's something I've had always had trouble with, I am Miss Procrastination herself. I just put my head in the sand and hope it will go away, whatever it is. Can't really bitch about it, too, because it's all my fault and I just need to get up off my lazy butt and DO things. Usually I just ignore that but on days like yesterday I feel like I am balancing a huge stack of porcelain cups and keep piling on and piling on and one day it'll all come crashing down on my head...

So yesterday I was feeling unbalanced and cranky. Still haven't quite recovered from that feeling and in addition my head feels empty and stupid. So there's nothing interesting I have to add to this blog today.

Mover and Shaker.

Weekend Update

a) Friday

Embarrassing day at the office. Not really horrible, but a good impression that didn't make, no, it did not. Plus, trouble with a client that I had to sort out, overall sucky.

Then I went and had pizza with M., T. and U. which calmed me down. That and the expensive Campari Orange. 5 Euros well invested, though. Afterwards we went to the movies and saw Mambo Italiano which was quite amusing - not very deep, sort of like My Big Fat Greek Wedding, only gay. Very fun over-the-top set decoration (BRIGHT COLOURS) and direction, a little bit overacting, but still OK and you can even take guys ("Two men kissssssssing, ewwww!") to see it as the gay relationship is not depicted in any graphic detail. If you didn't like "Greek Wedding", are offended by any stereotyping of ethnic communities (Italians, in that case), or can't stand to see gays in any movie, don't go. Otherwise I thought it quite enjoyable.

b) Saturday

Rather inexplicable bad mood. Finished Shipping News which I liked but would have rather read in English as I kept pondering the language, wondering how certain things had been translated which detracted from the overall reading experience. Went to Wal-Mart and was harrassed by people wearing training suits. Bought Pirates of the Caribbean. The cashier forgot to take it out of its little safety case, though, which vexed me greatly when I discovered it at home. Went to bed still grumbling.

c) Sunday, i.e. today

Had brunch with my parents and an experience with public transportation which made me remember why I always take the car. The brunch was at the airport restaurant. Now the trip back should have taken 40 minutes but we ended up in the train for almost two hours. First the train stood around at a station for ages. Then they announced they had trouble with the tracks and at each station we had to wait for the opposite train to pass on our track. Then they announced they had had a suicide warning and had to go real slow. That took the better part of an hour. And then they announced that they wouldn't stop at any more stops but go straight to the last stop. Hello? Where's the logic in that? I didn't particularly care as I had to go to the last stop but my parents needed to get out before, so they had to go to the last stop and then back. Yee-Haw! What fun!!

At least I got to start Middlesex and so far I really like it.

Went to work at the little safety case of the Pirates DVD using
1. a screwdriver
2. a little saw
3. a big-ass wrench
and managed to finally get it open. Arrrr!!

Had pasta and some wine. Life is good again.