Slept like crap. But that's probably due to lack of nicotine. Why lack of nicotine? you ask. (If you didn't ask, tough cookies, because I am telling you anyway.) See, I was talking to my ex-boyfriend at my party. (He was his usual obnoxious self, I hear...which I always thought strange, because he never was like that with me. Admittedly, he was a self-centered sonofabitch sometimes - well, most of the time. And he still is, I guess. But I always liked talking to him and I can talk about everything with him to this day...wouldn't want him back for a million dollars, though. Well, maybe for a million dollars. But there's not much I wouldn't do for a million dollars. Well, maybe two millions. But I digress.)

Anyway, I was talking to him and during the conversation he said: "You know you shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you" (He meant it as a joke and he's allowed to say that without me smacking him upside the head, because he had lung cancer and has only half a lung left). But out of the blue I thought: "Well, maybe I really shouldn't." I've been talking about quitting now for some time because I think cigarettes make me feel like crap. Everytime I am nervous I'm smoking too much and get nervouser and nervouser (I am channeling Alice in Wonderland here, bear with me) and my stomach hurts (which it always does lately). I don't cough, though. And my skin looks awful. And the tobacco tax will increase and I can't afford it anymore. And I am still planning on running the Marathon in October which will be much easier if your lung doesn't wheeze all the time.

All good and valid reasons, but honestly...I don't think I'll manage it. Yesterday was OK, because my stomach was really upset (told ya) and I did not feel like smoking anyway. But today I'm not really sure. There's too many factors to consider. First, habit. I've reached for a pack of cigarettes just because it's there. Second, peer pressure. And I don't mean your friends urging cigarettes on you, I mean just everybody smoking and you really wanting to have one, too. Third, habit. Don't know what happens when I drink next time. Fourth, crappy mood. Well, I think three days should be enough to take care of that. But anyway. I did not want to tell anybody because then it's not so embarassing when you start again, but I just felt like sharing, since I also feel like having a cigarette. If you want to encourage me, do so by any means. If you want to talk me out of it because then you are alone on your smoking break, please refrain, I'll probably be back with you shortly anyway. OK, enough of that, now for something completely different...

Best Present Ever

I told you I liked all the presents I got...sitting on my new pillow, drinking my new coffee (three people gave me coffee, I guess I'm transparent :) out of my Purple Ronnie mug, reading my books, after I lightened up my mood with the sunny yellow bath lotion.... And the cat will be happy about his new toys as well. Can't really work the power drill my parents gave me in here, but oh well...I am digressing again, must be the nicotine lack talking.

What I was saying was that all my presents were really nice. But. Yesterday I got a late present and it's just the best thing ever.
They gave me a penguin.

His name is Sulivan. He lives on the Falkland Islands.Look at him here...isn't he the best penguin ever? Look at his cute little feet. And his regal yet thoughtful posture. And the yellow spot on his chest. And he's all mine. For a year, at least :)

w00t!