Tuesday, July 15, 2003

By the way, thank you all for your kind words and your help regarding the paper...

It's not like I don't know what to do (well, maybe in some respects - especially concerning the aforementioned SPSS, but mostly I do), it's just that I won't do it. And I don't know why. At the moment it's like I am two people in one. One's yelling from the inside: "Do XY!" while the outer (who unfortunately is in control) is doing ... nothing. I can't explain it. And that is really frustrating.

Plus, I don't like listening to myself complaining all the time. It sounds whiny and stupid. This has the additional drawback that I am constantly mad at myself and tend to be grumpy towards everybody else as well. So I hope I haven't been too grouchy.

Maybe things will start to get better now. I certainly hope so. Alex suggested a couple of strategies - I hope we don't need to use the "I'll show up at your doorstep every day at 8:30 and bug you until you write" one :) ... I guess that's the point of that strategy.

Oh, and since everything is so "Marvellous!!" and "Great!!" they tell me I am supposed to win a prize with the paper. Huh?? I really wish they would just let me write the crap and be done with it. Now they won't rest until the whole thing fits their "Marvellous (one l or two?)!!!" and "Great!!!" expectations. Ack. More pressure. Exactly what I need. Especially since I still need to figure out which of the gazillion numbers that showed up on the screen constitute the "Marvellous!!" and "Great!!!" results. *shudder*

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